The views and theories of Sid.....

This blog is about my friend Sid ( the one without the blazer in the photo) and his questions /ideas/ theories / fantasies or whatever that u may call them. Much like most of us, Sid also has views on everything and has a theory on every other thing. So I decided that these theories have to be documented and saved for posterity, lest they get lost over the sands of time.

The Great Idly idea.

Idlys, for the uninitiated is a very famous south Indian breakfast. It is a much beloved and harmless little dish and always round shaped. One day as we were driving down to office, I casually mentioned to Sid about having idlys for breakfast. He suddenly had a brainwave and started questioning the fact that why idlys always have to be round. They are prepared by means of a round mould and Sid said why anybody didn’t think of making moulds in other shapes. He proposed moulds to be made in the shape of cartoon characters to make the idlys more attractive to children and unleash a marketing blitzkrieg to compete with the likes of the McDonalds and stuff. A pokemon idly and a Scooby idly could give stiff competition to Kellogg and other MNC breakfasts. This brain wave stemmed from the fact that as a child he absolutely hated the round shaped idlys and used to fling them outta the window whenever he was served them and pretend to having eaten them. If only they had ‘He- Man idlys’ or ‘Superman idlys’ during the mid- and late eighties, lot many idlys could have been saved.

The International Date Line Fantasy:

While at office and having nothing to do (that is the case mostly), Sid was looking at the time tool and seeing what was the time across the world. The International Date Line caught his fancy and he says how it would be if the line was on land instead of on the Pacific Ocean. One could have one leg either side of the line and straddle two days at the same time. Or you could jump from here to there across the line and go from yesterday to today and back to yesterday. This jumping the line is his ultimate fantasy

Marriage and its impact on a mans social life

Before marriage

Time spent on social activities (clubbing, boozing, and partying) – x
Number of relatives – y
Time spent visiting relatives - f(y)

After marriage

Number of relatives – 2y
Time spent on visiting relatives doubles
Time spent on social activities – x/2

Conclusion: Marriage impacts man’s social activities drastically

Note: other factors not taken into account since Sid’s prime purpose was to vilify relatives

Man to Man behavior in the local train and otherwise

People in Mumbai are so dependent on the local trains that their day’s time table is linked to the train they have to catch in the morning to get to work. There would be a core group of people who one would be meeting everyday on the same train. As per Sid, the camaraderie between such regular fellow travelers while inside the train is as much as the one between a cat and a rat. They view each other with hate and spite and something like a smile or a hello never crosses their lips. However if two of them meet somewhere else, they would behave like bosom pals who know each other from kinder garden. And the very next day when they meet again on the train, they never utter a word and revert back to the rat/cat mode.

The vegetable riddle:

Sid asks, why is it that the most horrible vegetables, like say ladies finger (the dreaded bindi), bitter gourd and other such unspeakables are supposed to have the best nutrition and expected to do wonders to you.

Male bonding at the bathroom

According to this theory of Sid, a man has an urge to communicate and speak / smile / talk to the person next to him while at the bathroom and going through the task of answering natures first call. He says that people whom you meet often in the office but don’t speak to, have a high chance of saying a word or two to you while you are standing next to them in the washroom. So if one wants to network and get closer to the big bosses , the bathroom is the place to be.

These are just a few of the ideas that the fertile mind of Sidharth Iyer has come up with. The more he says more posts would be added..